When Newness is Lost

As we grow older and obtain additional life experience, it's no wonder that the "newness" associated to things finds a ways to slip between the cracks of life. Your VERY first kiss, from possibly YEARS ago- in comparison to your first kiss with someone you've just started seeing recently. Your first love or surprise birthday party, vs. your seventh “love” and tenth surprise birthday party, lol.

Although I think it’s fair to say that the initial luster may not continually withstand the test of time, perhaps if we're open enough to it, the message will. Even if you don’t marry the first love of your life, chances are, you will love again. And even though you may not feel the same intensity as you did with your primary “puppy love,” sometimes the love you create with, and for a subsequent partner ends up providing you the most rewards and duration because you may have been fortunate enough to meet someone that truly compliments you and someone to sincerely grow with throughout the span of your lifetime.

My first marriage, for example had the “newness” that this blog refers to. I was so excited to be engaged and moving in together with Mike. I was deliriously happy thinking that, as long as I was a good wife, everything would work out. We’d have a beautiful home that always smelled of good things to eat, and all our dogs running out back with the children we’d planned to have. I imagined Mike and I having couple nights with friends and hiring babysitters to allot us the occasional (and by that point, much needed) date night. It was intense; it was new; but it wasn’t lasting, and frankly, it wasn’t fair. Never before my divorce did I realize how important finding a true PARTNER was to me. And by partner I don’t simply mean a significant other, but rather someone to share the good with, and mutually split the less than perfect with.

And even with the complete mess of my first, failed marriage JUST behind me, I think ahead to when I will once again experience engagement and moving in with a partner, and marriage, a house, and someday children. Not that I’m in a rush for those commitments, but that maybe the next time I experience these things, the newness will be gone a little… after all, I can honestly say that I have NO desire to ever have a large wedding again- the costs and planning just will never be worth it to me- nor will wearing an uncomfortable, poofy dress I’d only wear once that requires a multitude of complex, and somewhat cruel, under garments, lol. But, likewise, maybe the message will have survived…maybe MY message will have finally reached not only SOMEone, but the RIGHT one for me.

If life works out that way, then I’ll know I was one of the fortunate people to meet someone that truly compliments me, whom I can sincerely grow throughout the span of my lifetime with.